Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
