Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
