So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
