Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
