Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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