At least make sure they are 18
Why
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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