going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
