It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
