Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
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