I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
