God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Text me some of your sweat
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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