totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
