i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
