Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Randomize
