Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
he thought i was a dude.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Randomize
