i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
