thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
