You smell like stripper and shame
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Randomize
