and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
