How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
