We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Randomize
