Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
