so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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