he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
