He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
