i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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