Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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