1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
