Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
