Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Randomize
