listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
