You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
