To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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