is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
