we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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