just come out here and I will go home with you...
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
