you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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