Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
