im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
