I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
