So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
