I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
