Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
