you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
