It's like a parade of train wrecks.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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