love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
