my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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