She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
