uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
