If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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