ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
