Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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