I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
