just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
