I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
