his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
