I'm lost and stupid without you.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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